TCWOC:Alice and Jasper meet Thursday Next
by rupzydaisy
Summary: Thursday Next is a literacy detective and also secretly polices the Bookworld. Having recently passed her test and gained a shiny new badge, Miss Haversham sends her off to deal with two characters who have lodged a complaint...


_Thursday Next is from the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde, but this Thursday is from somewhere around the first book; The Eyre Affair. You should all know where Alice and Jasper come from, if not then…_

_Summary- Thursday Next is a literacy detective and also secretly polices the Bookworld. Having recently passed her test and gained a shiny new badge, Miss Haversham sends her off to deal with two characters who have lodged a complaint under 'Utter and Complete Ridiculousness' about 'an event/plotline/character' from their own book, Eclipse._

_All words in **bold** are explained below for those who don't have a clue…_

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TWOC: Alice and Jasper meet Thursday Next.

"Where are those characters?** Emperor Zhark** said they were here and waiting. Maybe if I look…" Thursday thought aloud and then turned around and headed back in the opposite direction. **Text Grand Central** was a puzzle and after only just being there for a week, it would've been so much easier if Miss Haversham had given her a map. But no, the old woman was a strict mentor and if she was going to learn the ways of Jurisfiction from her, she was meant to do it properly. And that meant the hard way, like for example wandering the shelves of the TWI-TWE section on the fourth floor.

Inside **The Great Libary** every single publication of every single book was sitting on the dark varnished wood shelves. The first 26 floors, one for each letter of the alphabet. These were of all the published books and the 23 floors in the basement made up the **Well of Lost Plots.** The shelves stretched up to the ceiling and forwards and backwards. There were rows upon rows on books stacked according to genre, date published, author, title, size and popularity. Hardbacks, paperbacks, all books. Books as far as the eyes can see. A bibliophile's heaven. The black floors were carpeted and made a soft tapping noise as Thursday walked through trying to find the right meeting place.

'You don't need a map, we're here." Chirped a short teenager dressed in designer clothes with spiky black hair which was pointing in every direction. On anyone else it would have looked silly but on her she seemed more like a model. She was grinning at Thursday and then frowned slightly.

"I hope _you _can help us" she continued, putting emphasis on 'you' as though she'd already tried complaining before.

'My name is Alice Cullen and this is Jasper my husband." She motioned to an older looking teenager who was standing further behind her. He had golden hair and eyes to match. She looked back at the girl and saw that she had the same gold eyes too. Thursday raised an eyebrow, they looked a little young to be married. Then she dismissed that thought, she was in **Bookworld** and some authors had written things which no one could understand.

'We're from Eclipse in the Twilight Saga." Alice said looking for some sort of response, "Might be after your time, what year is it?"

"Erm, its 1986", Thursday replied as if the girl had lost her marbles. The girl let out a little laugh and it sounded like bells. "Yes, definitely after your time. But don't worry, it's not important." She had pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. "This is the complaint." Thursday took it from her cold, pale hand. "As you can see, everything is in complete order and I see no reason as to why it was void in the first place." She stated clearly, wanting to be taken seriously.

The boy behind her was shifting backwards slightly, '_Were his eyes slightly darker than before?_' thought Thursday. '_Mind they look a bit strange, not completely human. I wonder what they are; I mean people don't really have gold eyes.' _

Thursday returned her attention to the form. "Yes, you've filled it in completely and it looks like it's in order" She replied.

"Good," said Alice, "Don't worry Jasper, we'll be back soon, and they'll be plenty of mountain lion." She turned and spoke gently to him. He smiled back and nodded and then he said "That's good, are there any grizzlies for Em? They should be out of hibernation by now." He had a deep voice, but just like the girl it sounded musical.

"Yes there are some, but he's not coming out. He and Rose had another argument and then she broke that vase, you know the one with the crystal embellishment on it." Alice explained.

"Esme's favourite. She must be in trouble." Jasper chuckled and Thursday wondered who they were talking about.

"I don't think so but I can't see what happened after. I keep getting flashes from Bella. She's trying to get out of going to the mall with me. She thinks we're going shopping but I just wanted to see a film. I wanted to surprise her but she's just gonna kick up a fuss.' She shook her head and Jasper chuckled again. Then they turned back to Thursday.

"So what exactly is the complaint about?" Thursday wondered, "If I can ask?" she added subtly because she didn't want to offend. Emperor Zhark threatened to shoot her with a light sabre when she asked how the planet destroying was going. Thursday could only conclude that it wasn't going that well and that the Rambosians were proving a challenge.

"You're new aren't you?" Alice asked suspiciously, and Thursday nodded. "Who's your mentor?" she asked.

"Miss Haversham" Thursday replied and Alice nodded.

"Typical, sending a newbie to sort this out. She's probably off racing in that extremely dangerous car of hers, I don't understand how she can drive it, the way she speeds around I'm surprised she hasn't had a crash yet." Alice was scowling and then her eyes glazed over and they lost their focus for a few seconds. "Yes... she's with the Toad from Toad Hall … Good she's going to lose, I wanted to talk to her directly about this complaint and she knew it." She huffed then Jasper took a small step forward taking her hand whilst grinning. Alice smiled back at him then continued complaining without losing momentum.

"I have been trying to fix this since the plot was taken from the **Well**, and I keep getting fobbed off. You know, being a psychic heavily relies on being able to see the future. And I can't, not when those stupid mutts are around. It's not so bad during Breaking Dawn when Bella's pregnant, it's a bit of a relief from the headaches, but there are still three other books. Technically the future can't hold them, so it means I can't see them and that is extremely annoying. Especially with Jacob randomly dropping by to see Bella during the time gaps." Alice went off on a rant and then stopped and seemed to calm down when Jasper put his hand on her shoulder. Thursday raised her eyebrows again, wondering why Miss Haversham didn't want to come and fix this complaint herself and why she was the one who had to.

"Werewolves?" Thursday questioned, slightly amazed that all of this was still happening. At least novels like Jane Eyre were less confusing. You step into the fantasy and sci-fi genres prepare for a headache, and don't even begin to entertain the notion of stepping into poetry. While it was lovely to read, the ambiguity of some of the phrases meant that Jursifiction agents could spend years trying to attach the right kind of pragmatics to a word with it being rejected and spontaneously combusting.

"Not technically, the wolf pack are shape shifters due to a mutant gene, it's passed down through the tribe and tensions are always high between us and them seeing as we are immortal enemies. But that's not the point; I want to know that you will fix this." Alice finished while Thursday stared and then snapped out of it as she reminded herself that they were characters from a book._ "Immortal?"_ Thursday thought _"She don't look like she could have enemies."_

"Right, well I'll do my best and you should be getting back to your book." Thursday stated, whilst wondering what sort of immortal character she was. She was about to ask but then thought better off it.

"We're vampires." Alice grinned as she spoke, and then advised Thursday should really consider her part time services of a personal shopper, "We have a long time gap during New Moon, the second book." she explained, "And it helps that the Catalogue shelf is only a few floors up."

Alice and Jasper said goodbye and then dissolved into the air, returning to their book Eclipse. "Damn fantasy characters" Thursday said smiling to herself, partly because she had just met real vampires, one who was a shopping freak. But there was no way she was giving up her t-shirt, jeans and jacket ensemble.

"You'd think wouldn't you, but then again, so entertaining." Said the **Cat, formerly known as Cheshire**. "You should read the Twilight Saga, it's quite entertaining. We're predicting a hit with the younger generation in the time frame when it comes out, particularly with teenage girls." The Cat was sitting on top of a bookshelf containing the works of Jasper Fforde. He informed Thrusday that Miss Haversham was waiting for her, asked her if she had remembered his Moggalicious cat food and then disappeared, his wide, famous grin the last to go.

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**Emperor Zhark:** Main character in a (bad) series of sci fi books. He goes around enslaving worlds using extreme violence and zapping people with lasers or other space age weapons. Partnered with Miss Tiggy Winkle at Jurisfiction.

**Text Grand Central: **Like the big atrium/meeting place. All Bookworld operatives work here, in their offices, paper pushing.

**The Great Library:** The library containing all the books ever known. Pretty simple really.

**Well of Lost Plots: **All the ideas are taken from the Well. Books are constructed in the well and then sent upstairs to The Great Library. Books which do not end up being finished get sent to the Well. Books which have lost the plot are sent to the Well too.

**Bookworld: **World of books (a bit self-explanatory?) Run by the Council of Genres.

**Cat, formerly known as Cheshire**/ The Cheshire Cat / Unitary Authority of Warrington Cat: is the grinning cat from Alice in Wonderland. Name changes throughout and the boundary lines for the counties changed to so no one is really sure of his real name. Is the main librarian and helps out at Jurisfiction.

Disclaimer: Alice and Jasper are not mine, they are Stephanie Meyer's. Thursday Next, Emperor Zhark and the Cat, formerly known as Cheshire are not mine either; they are Jasper Fforde's.

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_Just like to say thank you to those who thought this story might be interesting and decided to read it, hope you like it._  
_Thank you to anyone who voted, wow, you deserve a prize! **Choose one of the following:** collect your special prize now from Goliath! 'everything you need from cradle to grave'/ Limited edition of Meerkats Today, a weekly magazine, (no not related to the advert)/ a ShakeAway Milkshake/ a standing ovation (from me). Once again thank you!_

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